Infidelity is one of the most emotionally charged and ethically complex phenomena in human relationships. The question, “Does an extramarital affair happen in every individual?” has been a subject of both popular debate and scientific research. While the short answer is no, the reality is far more nuanced. Let’s unpack this through science, psychology, cultural data—including findings from India—and clinical insights.

What is Infidelity, Clinically Speaking?

In psychological terms, infidelity refers to a violation of agreed-upon norms within a committed relationship. It can be emotional, physical, or even virtual. It’s not a monolith—some people cheat out of emotional dissatisfaction, while others do so due to impulsive behavior, trauma history, or biological tendencies.

The Neuroscience and Evolutionary Psychology Behind Infidelity

Several scientific studies suggest that:

• Dopamine and reward circuits are heavily involved in the brain’s response to romantic novelty and excitement, which can make forbidden or new relationships seem more alluring.
• Testosterone levels, particularly in men, have been loosely associated with a higher propensity to seek multiple partners.
• From an evolutionary standpoint, some scientists theorize that both men and women are driven by reproductive imperatives: men to spread genes widely, women to ensure the best genetic material and protection. However, this is a controversial and reductionist view and doesn’t justify behavior.

Is There a “Cheating Gene”?

A 2014 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine suggested a potential genetic component: people with a certain variant of the dopamine receptor gene DRD4 were more likely to engage in uncommitted sexual activity. But genes are not destiny—they interact with upbringing, environment, personality, and social conditioning.

What About India? Recent Studies and Trends

Key Indian Insights:

1. India Today’s “State of the Nation” Poll (2021) found that 29% of Indian men and 18% of women admitted to having cheated on their spouse or partner at least once.
2. According to a study by the Indian Journal of Psychiatry (IJP), urban couples report more infidelity-related marital discord than rural ones.
3. A 2019 research from the International Journal of Humanities and Social Science Research revealed a rising trend of emotional affairs among Indian women, particularly among working professionals.

These findings counter the stereotype of India as a monogamous society bound strictly by tradition. With increasing economic independence and digital access, the nature of relationships is evolving—bringing both freedom and conflict.

Why Do People Cheat? Psychological Triggers

• Emotional disconnect from partner
• Unresolved past trauma
• Low self-esteem or narcissism
• Lack of sexual satisfaction
• Situational temptations (e.g., long-distance, office affairs)
• Opportunity and secrecy, especially enabled by technology

Is Infidelity Universal?

While infidelity is common, it is not universal.

• Many individuals never cheat in their lifetime.
• Studies show people with high emotional intelligence, strong moral compass, and secure attachment styles are less likely to engage in extramarital affairs.
• Couples who engage in open communication, mutual respect, and emotional intimacy are more resilient against temptation.

Can Infidelity Be Prevented or Healed?

Yes. Here’s what research and clinical practice recommend:

• Therapy (CBT, EFT): Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Emotion-Focused Therapy have shown success in helping couples heal.
• Premarital counseling and periodic check-ins
• Rebuilding trust through structured communication
• Spiritual frameworks: Some couples draw strength from shared values, prayer, or mindfulness practices.

Helpful Scientific Resources

• National Library of Medicine – Infidelity and its Psychological Impact
• Indian Journal of Psychiatry – Urbanization and Marital Strain
• Journal of Sexual Medicine – Genetics and Infidelity
• Psychology Today – Why People Cheat

Extramarital relationships are not inevitable for every person. While some individuals may be biologically or psychologically more prone, environment, ethics, emotional bonding, and personal growth play larger roles in determining one’s choices.

Let’s stop normalizing infidelity as a “natural phase” and instead focus on building conscious, connected, and honest relationships. Prevention starts with awareness, and healing begins with begins with compassion.

Written by Nellikka.life – Gateway to Better Health & Relationships

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