By nellikka.life | Science-backed | For Awareness & Empowerment

In a society where conversations about sex are often whispered behind closed doors, one topic deserves a bold and open spotlight—consent. It’s not just a legal requirement or a moral duty—consent is the foundation of emotional safety, personal dignity, and mutual respect in any sexual relationship.

But what exactly is consent in the context of sex? Why does it matter? And how do we cultivate a culture that understands, respects, and upholds it?

Let’s break it down clearly, scientifically, and compassionately.

What is Sexual Consent?

Consent is an active, informed, and voluntary agreement between participants to engage in sexual activity. It must be:

• Freely given: Without pressure, manipulation, threats, or intoxication.
• Reversible: A person can change their mind at any time, even in the middle of an activity.
• Informed: All parties understand what they are agreeing to.
• Enthusiastic: It’s not just “not saying no” — it’s a clear “yes!”
• Specific: Saying yes to one act doesn’t mean consent to others.

This is often referred to by experts as the FRIES model, developed by Planned Parenthood and used globally in sex education.

What Does Science Say?

1. The Brain’s Role in Consent

Consent is a cognitive process. It involves the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, judgment, and decision-making. For this reason, any impairment (e.g., alcohol, drugs, or sleep deprivation) may compromise a person’s ability to give valid consent.

A study published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence (2021) emphasizes that impaired consent is not true consent, especially in cases of substance use.

2. Neurological and Emotional Effects of Violated Consent

Sex without consent, even within marriage or relationships, can trigger severe psychological effects:

• PTSD and trauma
• Anxiety and panic attacks
• Depression and loss of trust
• Dissociation during intimacy

The amygdala, which processes fear, gets hyperactivated, creating long-term stress responses, according to research in Biological Psychiatry (2018).

Why is Consent Often Misunderstood in India?

Cultural taboos, patriarchy, and lack of comprehensive sex education play major roles. Many people:

• Equate silence with agreement.
• Think marriage automatically equals consent.
• Misunderstand body language or pressure partners into sex.

Marital rape is still not criminalized in India, reflecting how urgently society needs to revisit how it perceives sexual autonomy.

Talking About Consent with Partners

Here’s how to build consent positively into your relationship:

• Ask directly: “Is this okay with you?” or “Would you like to continue?”
• Read cues: Respect verbal and non-verbal signals.
• Communicate continuously: Consent isn’t a one-time checkbox—it’s an ongoing dialogue.
• Avoid assumptions: Just because it happened once doesn’t mean it’s okay every time.

Consent as a Practice of Self-Love

Teaching consent isn’t just about preventing violence. It’s about empowering individuals—especially women—to own their bodies, desires, and boundaries. It’s also about men learning that emotional connection and consent make intimacy richer and safer.

Legal and Social Standpoint in India

• Under IPC Section 375, rape laws exist, but marital rape is not legally recognized.
• The POSCO Act defines clear guidelines for consent involving minors.
• The Supreme Court has begun expanding definitions of bodily autonomy, especially post the 2018 Sabarimala and Section 377 verdicts.

Consent is a Culture, Not a One-Time Question

When we raise a generation that understands consent, we raise a healthier, safer, more empathetic society.

Let’s teach our children that:

• Consent is cool.
• Consent is powerful.
• Consent is sexy.
• And most of all—consent is non-negotiable.